I write this post as my Mental Health is at one of its lowest points I can remember. I share this with you all for two main reasons, so you don’t fall into the same pitfalls, and to keep me accountable. For some of the readers this will come as a shock, for others an inevitability. Let it be known, I may not be OK today, but I will persevere.
As I Wrote last week, I feel drained, I feel apathetic, lethargic, I feel that everything is an effort and one more often not worth beginning. I am struggling. Those feelings aren’t getting better. They are, in fact, worsening. I am finding it more difficult to maintain a brave face, smile when in company, I am physically and emotionally drained by things that I used to be recharged by. I am experiencing both crippling lows and almost euphoric highs. Extreme anger and extreme compassion, often in the same day, and sometimes within the same hour. I feel more unstable in my own thoughts, I feel disjointed, disorganised, and for the first time in a long while, without real purpose. My wife has been an amazing support through all of this, as have my friends and family. And for that I am thankful.
I am, however, seeking help. I am going to speak to my GP and come up with a strategy, both short term and long term. I am inherently a driven person, and I will not allow what I am experiencing to negatively impact my family, so to that end, I will not be changing my plans for employment and study. I will simply be looking for assistance to help with the aforementioned feelings. Thats the accountability part.
Last week I proposed a New Year Just Me concept, in which I will be winding back from lot of extracurricular things, and saying NO a lot more often. My advice to everyone, do only what you are capable of doing, not what you think you are capable of doing. There are countless studies that talk about the dangers of multi-tasking and the benefits of simply focussing on one task. There is merit though, to being busy, but not to the point where you sacrifice your family, friends and your own health.
Take care out there readers of Maintain the Rage. Stay safe, and don’t forget to check up on each other once in a while. It’s OK to ask if someone is struggling, and its OK to be honest. Just do everyone a favour, if you ask the question, listen to the response, you may be the only one to hear it.
Maintain the Rage