After seeing my Psychiatrist, and following a dismal week of terrible anxiety and low mood, we have decided to make some medication changes. We have also decided to continue with weekly visits, and I have no doubt after talking with my Psychologist today, Monday, that will change to a more frequent visit as well. It’s going to be a long road to recovery I feel.
My visit to the Psychiatrist was surprisingly quick, I was also accompanied by my wife for the first time. We entered, discussed my mood, my motivation, my suicidal ideation and overall thoughts on the effectiveness of the medication. My answers were, Low, almost non-existent, 4 thoughts this week and steps backwards instead of forwards. The Psychiatrist then discussed with my wife how my Illness was effecting the home and family unit, which she honestly answered “His level of frustration and irritability is increasing, anxiety is almost constant, and I feel that he is getting worse. The anxiety was originally manageable but now he is having physical manifestations”. All of which is true.
We discussed the options for medication changes, and went backwards and forwards about the pros and cons. We eventually settled on the idea of a mood stabiliser, in this case Lithium Carbonate. The idea is, over the coming weeks to slowly increase the dose from 450mg a day to whatever is necessary to have an effect, while still staying below the toxic levels, which is pretty easy to do with Lithium. I will continue on the rest of medications with the exception of no longer taking Diazepam, which even after the first night, I have noticed a rapid decline in my ability to sleep.
My visit to the Psychologist tomorrow shall be interesting, there are things I discussed with my Psychiatrist which they would like me to discuss with them. They include, Bullying at school, a toxic and traumatic workplace and my relationship with my Son (who is my wife’s from her first marriage) though I treat him as if he were my own. I don’t quite know what will be in store for me otherwise, I am hoping a plan and a way forward, as well as starting the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is just a fancy way of saying learning to cope.
On a professional note, I continue to wait for my Nursing Registration…. only been 9 Weeks, can’t rush these things.
I hope these posts continue to inspire people to reach out and get the help they need. I also hope they continue to normalise the conversation around mental health, and begin to remove some of the stigma surrounding it. If these posts have helped you or someone you know, or encouraged you to seek help, let us know in the comments below, or go to our Connect page and send me an email, I’d love to hear from you. Until next week,
Maintain the Rage,