After the past 18 months of study, placements and headaches, I have finally made it. I am working as an Enrolled Nurse. Though this is just the first step on a long road it is an important one, and one I am enjoying every step of the way.
My first week was interesting for numerous reasons, firstly, it felt oddly like placement to begin with. The facility I am working at has a robust policy surrounding skills and the management and assessment of them, so when a new nurse comes onboard they are observed by a senior nurse to ensure they are safe and proper. So my first set of medication rounds, my first injections, my first dressing change, my first ECG, my first admission, my first discharge and even my first progress note, where all checked to ensure I was safe and proper in my nursing.
Secondly, I am still working my through my own Mental Health struggles, and the one thats being playing up for me is Anxiety. I am normally a confident and outgoing person, this has helped me in my day to day life as a student nurse, in the Military and generally as I have travelled through life, but when you have a little voice in the back of your head casting doubt over everything, things get difficult. I only had a couple of anxiety related attacks, one of which was with the aforementioned dressing change, I was reduced to shaking like a leaf and sweating profusely until I reassured myself that I can do it, calm myself down and cracked on. But generally I have had a seed of doubt, which has made my life harder. I have been doubting decisions, doubting knowledge, doubting my own ability. Which is super frustrating.
Finally, I was hired as a Surgical Nurse, that is a nurse that is primarily on the surgical ward caring for people post-operatively, not in theatre, and I have spent the entire time thus far on the Medical ward. Now I am exceptionally grateful to even have a nursing job straight out of school let alone a full time one, but it is a little odd. And the work is a whole lot “heavier”, by which I mean, most pop the patients are over 80 and need assistance with Showering, toiling, walking and moving from the bed to the chair.
It has been a great week, I have had no thoughts of suicide since starting work, my wife has commented on how she has her old husband back, and I am feeling like I am on a little bit more of an even keel. I am looking forward to the trials and tribulations, the fun and frivolity, and the tears and smiles that my work will bring.
Maintain The Rage