Dear Brain


Dear Brain,

There have been several events over the past months that has me concerned. As co-resident of this body we share, I felt it pertinent to contact you in the interest of working through these misadventures. I would like to discuss the sense of absolute dread for no apparent reason, the overall sense of apathy and laissez faire attitude towards almost everything, and what can only be described as the unwillingness to retain the simplest of information or focus on the task at hand.

Firstly the sense of dread. On numerous occasions over the past months you have reacted to situations, people, and things in an extreme and unnecessary manner. You completely freaked out over the choice of herbs at the shops, you where convinced that everyone at church was talking about you, and you seem to be in a constant state of hyper vigilance as if we are constantly under threat. I request that these actions and this overreacting ceases immediately.

Secondly, the generalised apathy towards life. We are driven, ambitious, strive to learn, and stretch ourselves, not just to better ourselves but for other around us. Recently, however, even getting out of bed is becoming difficult. Your unwillingness to tell the rest of the body to get up and get moving, without some fear driven response accelerating our actions, is subpar. We have gained a large amount of weight recently due to inactivity and comfort eating. We need to be using our time more wisely then sleeping all the time, lounging around, or otherwise goofing off. Motivation will increase, directions for movement will be more easily forthcoming, and drive shall return.

Finally, the inability to focus. Even writing this open letter to you has been difficult. I am aware that you have been put under a large amount of strain of late, but you need to maintain control. There have been too many sentences that have not been finished, ideas that have disappeared, jobs half done, time wasted, and energy lost due to the inability to focus. I have endeavoured to maintain the supply of caffeine in order to sharpen the mind and allow the focus to be there, but this is obviously not enough. I ask that you consider waking up, focussing in on what is going on around you, and stay on task.

Additionally, the thoughts of ending our existence need to stop. I appreciate that they have slowed of late, and are now almost a nonevent but they need to stop forever. Shuffling off this mortal coil is not the answer to our issues, it is not the gateway to an eternity of laziness, and it is certainly not in everyone else’s best interest.

I don’t understand how all of this came about. I endeavoured to make sure you were sufficiently stimulated, we studied the Diploma of Nursing last year, and we are studying the Bachelor this year full time. We are working 10 Nursing shift a fortnight, Early, Late or Night in the interest of maintaining our skills. We took up the role of Assistant Group Leader with Scouts so we can continue to be a part of everything and grow the group. We have three kids to play with, teach, and grow with, and a wife to spend time with. Not to mention the Maintain the Rage community that we fostered and grew to share the journey. With all of this stimulation and input surely this would have kept you happy.

While I remain at a loss as to what to do, I will continue feeding you the Medications as prescribed in the hope that you will one day come around. Until then I await your reply.

Maintain The Rage

Luke Sondergeld

5 thoughts on “Dear Brain

  1. I really enjoyed this, Honey. Honest and yet get the ‘WTF!!!! GRRR’ of frustration I know you have been feeling across really well. And the language choices were superb.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Dear Luke | Maintain The Rage

  3. Yes this is so true and yes your brain really needs to stop with the whole everyone hates me….. i felt once i got past that it was alot easier to cope with life.. and if you need to talk im here for you.

    Like

  4. Pingback: 1st Year | Maintain The Rage

  5. Pingback: Feeling Low | Maintain The Rage

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s