A Doctor and friend of mine once told me that “You are unlikely to change until you reach a particular point in your life, and that point is Rock Bottom, then and only then will you make real change”. Though I agreed with his sentiment at the time, I had achieved so much without having to hit Rock Bottom that I didn’t completely take on what he said. This week I think I have hit that point. I knew that between my medication, my depression, and my bone idol laziness, I had gained most of the weight I had lost. I didn’t realise that I had actually found more. To date I am 140kg. Last time I was even close to this was 2007/2008 when I decided that I was going to join the Navy, and had to lose 50kg to do it.
I am not proud of how I got to this point. My weekly treat of a cheat meal, became a more frequent treat throughout the week, to sweet every night, large carbohydrate meals, and generally not taking care of myself. My depression did play a role in this, as I felt the needed to have some sort of joy in my life, and food for me has always been a joy, and at times a crouch. I have rarely received a lot of joy from things such as Salad, Low Carb alternatives, or low fat, which has made dieting difficult. Some keen readers will remember my last attempt at dieting. I had mixed success. I lost over 15kg, which was great, but the way I achieved it was unattainable. I was on an Extremely Low Calorie Diet, I was consuming less then 5000kj a day. Which for a healthy weighted gentleman of my height is too little. If I am going to succeed this time, I will need to attack this in a completely different way.
My medication that is keeping my brain from backflipping on itself includes; Venlafaxine, Lithium, Risperdone, Seroquel, and Mirtazipine. Some of these medications have been known to increase appetite, and some have the unfortunate side effect of weight gain. As much as I would love to firmly point the finger at medication and say “Its the meds making me fat” I know that would be short sighted and naive. But I do need to keep it in mind, it does have the potential to slow the weight loss down, or cause longer then expected plateaus.
In 2007/2008, when I decided to join the Navy, I was 149kg. For my appointment to go ahead my weight had to be below 100kg for my BMI to be acceptable. I wasn’t as smart about how to loose the weight as I think I will need to be this time around. I cut ALOT out of my diet, I refused to take any lifts, escalators, or anything similar, I worked out for an hour a day, I ran to the shops for milk and bread, I would skip breakfast, lunch was generally soup, and dinner was a little as I could handle. I lost 50kg in 12 months. I joined the Navy. But I cannot lose the weight the same way again. For starters, I had a desk job then, my caloric requirement then is substantially lower than what I need now as a floor Nurse. I cannot exercise the same way as I did then. When I was working out before the Navy I had only ever broken One bone. To date, I have had 13 operations. 3 abdominal wall incisions. 2 knee operations. 4 shoulder operations. This hampers my efforts, it doesn’t stop me from working out, but I have to be smarter about it.
So what does this all mean? I am going to restart Wednesday Weigh Day. I am going to devote to getting my arse below 100kg again. I am going to drag myself out and exercise. I am going to stop shovelling food into my face like its going out of fashion. But I need help. I need you the reader to share your healthy recipes. Your work outs. Your motivations. I need you to come not the journey with me. I need the community that we have built to rally together. Together I can, and hopefully if you come on the journey, you can lose the weight too. Let begin a journey together.
Maintain the Rage
Alinta here, Luke’s wife, I too will be fully committing to this journey. Part of the reason he is in this mess is I did not commit to it with him the first time around. That stops now. No more enabling.