This is the Eighteenth week I have been somewhat aware of, and concerned by my weight. The past two weeks have been hard with my Depression taking a bit of a strong hold. As such, I have been comfort eating, punishment eating, and just general being a fatty eating.
Weight at Start: 131.7kg
Weight Today: 120.0kg
Weight Loss this Week: +1.7kg
Total Weight Loss: 11.7kg
Amount till Goal Weight: 25kg
The above photo is the view I have every single day. This image grates on my soul. This image drives me to negative self talk about being lazy, fat, useless, and other unpleasantries. I have zero motivation to come up with recipes and ideas for food that is low cal, I have no interesting starving myself to loose weight, and I don’t have the inclination to actually exercise outside of what I do at work.
Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers franchise actually said it the best, “I fat because I eat, and I eat because I am fat”. I feel trapped in a constant cycle of chocolate, puddings, ice cream, burgers, chips, and all things nice. I know that if I don’t change my life span is being drastically shortened. I know I need to remain fit so I can run and jump and pay with my children. I know I need to loose weight to take the pressure off my fractured back and worn out knees. I know what I have to do, but have no motivation to do it.
I am stuck in a rut, a fat lazy rut.
Maintain the Rage